Why no one reads your writing

Photo by Vasily Koloda on Unsplash

My first post on Substack got <10 views. I had to bribe my parents to read it. It was, by all writing metrics, abysmal.

0 subscribers, 0 likes, 0 readers. I was shouting into the black abyss.

Why?

Because my writing voice was terrible. My sentences were long and overcomplicated, my words were pompous and read like a legal document, my anecdotes were non-existent, and the article as a whole felt like it had been bloated with filler.

Now, it’s improved. I don’t write into the abyss, I don’t spend hours on Thesaurus.com, searching for the perfect word, I don’t have a terrible voice anymore.

Here’s why no one read my writing, and why they won’t read yours.

Stop writing like AI.

Chat-GPT is a horrible writer. It’s redundant, has no structure, and has the pizzazz of a dead antelope. My sentences used to be long and unnecessary, they stretched on for ages until the reader was either asleep or was bored out of their mind.

Using long sentences is okay, but make sure it’s balanced.

Use more punchy sentences.

Good writers push the pace. You need to grab the reader by the throat and hold them there while you scream your message in their face.

(That’s a metaphor, by the way, don’t actually do that.)

Readers don’t have a lot of time, and when that sweet new Kardashian episode is in the back of their minds, you need to be vigilant and effective.

Don’t waste time. Be blunt. Be quick.

Use space to frame big ideas.

Tim Denning is great at this. Once the reader is properly hooked and invested, he writes a long sentence that sets the frame and exhausts the readers attention… then—

bam. Punchy sentence, with space to breathe.

He uses the space around a big idea to further highlight it, and cement it in your mind. Then, when he’s explaining his message, he gets more flowy (yes that’s a real word) and preachy with his sentences. He opens up into long stretches of advice until he wants to draw your attention to something else.

Attention is scarce. Once you have the readers hooked on your article, don’t let them go.

You need to be different.

I know, in the age of conformity where everyone thinks the same, how is this possible? I’ll tell you.

If you have a unique hobby, write about that. If you’re an expert in some field, write about that. If you’re neither of those, you need to differentiate your writing voice.

Your voice needs to be distinct so that when someone reads your writing, they instantly know it’s you. Include your wacky humor, or crazy analogies, or awful metaphors, anything to separate from the crowd.

Write like you talk.

Grammarly is good for spell check, but don’t let it change your sentences. Don’t write like this is an academic paper or a subpoena, write like it’s a conversation.

Use rhetorical devices.

I know, you haven’t thought about those since your 11th grade English class, but your teacher was onto something. Anaphora, analogies, chiasmas, polysyndeton, all of those really weird words you’d cry about on a test, they’re actually—don’t tell my lang teacher—really useful.

Be patient.

Working on your writing voice takes months if not years. Don’t sweat if it doesn’t get you results tomorrow (it won’t). So you need to be patient.

Get used to a few views, it’s going to be like that for a while. Be patient. Use this time while you’re writing to no one to create a writing voice that’s impossible to ignore.

It takes time. People will read your writing if it’s quality writing. Even if it’s not quality, they’ll still read if you have a good voice.

Maybe post on notes too. That helps. :)

—Charlie.

PS: Subscribing is an instant boost in the quality of your writing voice. I swear that’s the truth and not an illegal bribe.