Why I hate arcades
Have you ever thought that arcades are just casinos for kids?
They’re overstimulating money-suckers filled with weird-smelling 10-year-olds and more money scams than Vegas. Seriously, how are these things not illegal but allowing your kid to play blackjack is?
All the bright lights and VR simulations that spit out tickets to win pieces of garbage you could buy for 15 cents at Dollar Tree. They’re literally manipulating people. There are ticket slot machines, I’d love to see how that isn’t gambling.
But charlie, you say, lighten up. One, it’s for kids, and two, it’s just for fun.
No, I won’t. As the self-proclaimed Ebenezer Scrooge of arcades, I’m going to rip them apart into all the reasons why I detest their very existence.
It’s rigged.
The claws don’t close all the way, the buttons are programmed with delays, and the game length is pitiful.
It’s manipulating prepubescents (yes that’s what I’m calling them) and I won’t stand for it.
Picture this: Kid spots a Mario stuffed animal. Kid attempts to win said stuffed animal. Claw machine doesn’t work correctly and completely scams Kid. Kid crys.
The prizes are awful.
All the prizes at an arcade probably could be bought for at most $9.99 at a local Target. It’s dumb.
By showing the AirPods Pro and the Lava lamp and the $500 Lego set, you get people thinking they could actually win something. And hey, maybe they do. Maybe they somehow scrape together enough tickets to buy a panda stuffed animal.
Yay.
But they forgot that they paid $75 to get enough credits to even attempt such a feat.
If you really want some new AirPods, I’m going to be blunt, you’re not going to win them at an arcade for 28,000 tickets. It’s more likely you get hit by an Apple truck outside the arcade and are given AirPods as compensation.
It’s literally a casino for kids.
There are no clocks in an arcade. The layout is confusing. There are so many strobe lights that I start to feel epileptic. There are money sounds, coins everywhere, candy posters, toys and stuffed animals and… hey wait a second.
Yeah, casinos do the same thing.
It’s like a psychology experiment but for stealing money. And stealing money from kids. Or I guess their parents because the kid certainly isn’t paying for the exuberant fees that feel like you’re selling your kidney.
It’s teaching kids to gamble.
There are slot machines and more slot machines and more slot… you’d think they’d have other games. But, since it’s Elsa or Walking Dead-themed, they’re completely off the hook and can be allowed to exploit kids.
But, if I had to say one good thing…
…it’s a good way to keep your kids occupied.
Maybe they’ll end up gambling away their house in a decade or two, but hey, that’s the risk I guess.
—Charlie
PS: Subscribe if you don’t like stealing money from children.
Internet cafes made more sense in terms of recreation, but time has proved that was not a sustainable business model.
No offense but I disagree. I think arcades offer a unique, positive environment for kids, blending fun with valuable skill-building experiences. Playing arcade games can improve hand-eye coordination, reflexes, and problem-solving abilities as kids engage with a variety of games. The social aspect of arcades fosters teamwork and friendly competition, helping kids build communication skills and resilience in a supportive setting. Many arcade games encourage movement, providing a fun form of physical activity that differs from typical screen time. Kids also gain confidence by achieving high scores or mastering games, learning perseverance and boosting their self-esteem. Altogether, arcades combine technology, socialization, and physical play, making them a beneficial experience for kids’ overall development.
I like your writing though! it makes you sound human